An Assassin in the House

It is spring in Kansas, and therefore, the time when the seniors at Blue Valley North High School participate in a game called "Assassins". It is a fairly simple game. You pay a small fee to participate, they assign you a target, and you have to "kill" your target by squirting them with a squirt gun. Everyone has a target, but they also have an assassin who is trying to take them out. There are rules about where you can and can't get people, such as work and on school property, but pretty much anywhere else is fair game. The rules even state that you can enter your target's house, you just can't break in or break anything. YIKES! I have nightmares of walking around the corner in my house and seeing some strapping teenage boy holding a Super Soaker and mistaking me for my son! If an assassination attempt is made on your life, you can try to squirt your assassin first which will give you 30 minutes to escape. When you kill your target, their target becomes your new target and so on until there is only one person left. That person wins the money, which I think last year was around $800. This is serious business!!!

Last year Matt participated and was very serious about it. This year it is Jace's turn, and he is as equally intense. Everytime we pull into the garage, we must follow protocol. All car doors must be locked. The garage door must be closed as soon as we pull in. Then I have to get out and check to make sure that no one has snuck in unbeknownst to us. Then, and only then, will Jace exit the vehicle, holding squirt gun in hand, tense but ready! He has informed us that he cannot take out the garbage, mow the lawn, or participate in any outdoor activity for the time being. Who knows, this may be his motiviation behind playing the game in the first place.

Two nights ago, Jace decided to make an attempt on his target. He had some intelligence that the kid's bedroom was next to the garage and that there was a door from the outside leading to the bedroom. He sent us a text message about 8pm saying that the door was open, and he was in his target's bedroom. He could hear people upstairs, and he waited for about 1/2 an hour in the dark with only the light of his cell phone, but his target never came down. Looking around the room, he saw a stereo. He pushed the power button on, pushed play on the CD player, and turned the volume up really loud. Great idea!! All of a sudden, creepy Halloween type noises started blaring from the stereo. He was totally psyched out by this point, waiting in the dark in some guys bedroom with creaking door sounds playing. Fortunately a minute or so later, his target opened the door, turned on the light and looked kind of puzzled. He started to walk over to the stereo. This is when Jace went Jason Bourne on him, and lept out from behind the futon and made his "kill". He called us on the way home, adrenaline pumping through his body! We laughed and were grateful that we weren't having to pick him up from the police station for Breaking and Entering!

We are not sure how long Jace will last. His assassin at the moment is Kate Burke, pretty much his best friend. She knows how to kill him, but we think he has sweet talked her into letting him live, kind of like James Bond does with his assassin women. But whenever he "dies" I am hoping that he doesn't scare me like Matt did last year. I was taking a shower when he pounded on my bathroom door and screamed, "I GOT SHOT!" I truly believed that some maniac had entered my home and shot my son, who was bleeding to death outside my bathroom door. When I figured out that he had just been soaked by a squirt gun, my terror turned to unstoppable laughter.

For now, we remain ever vigilant, keeping our doors locked, carrying squirt guns in every vehicle, staking out houses, and peeping into stranger's windows. It's amazing what someone will do for a little cash!